*Our primary reason for blogging is to take you all on our trip with us. [Thanks for being such great companions so far! We're working on enabling Comments. Be patient - we definitely want to hear from you guys, too!] But in addition to recounting our adventures and sharing some awesome photos (there are some doozies coming!), we may periodically want to share some deeper thoughts and musings. I've taken the liberty of deciding that we'll denote these as "Reflections". Here's my first - discussing my feelings on travel, why we're on this adventure, and what I hope to gain from the experience. We have plenty to post from the last few days, but we're currently on a slow internet connection. Thus, this picture-less post is the perfect offering to tide you over:
I am NOT a natural-born traveler. Kee-Min has posited that, perhaps, no one really is – but that an affinity for travel is an acquired taste/skill. I concede this is possible. Certainly, in the last five years, I’ve become largely desensitized to the stresses of domestic air travel. Thanks to much practice, I can pack quickly for a trip, assign my liquids and gels to their proper bags, arrange transport to the airport, clear security, find the best airport food, and handle delays/cancellations/rebookings without batting an eye.
But when it’s time for international travel, I still have to dig through my closet to find my Big Girl Pants, then secure them with a tightly cinched belt. I obsess over what to bring. I lose my passport three times before I even get to the airport. I have palpitations over transportation options, maps, schedules, and payment. I’m mildly terrified of facing an insurmountable language barrier. I fear eating “bad” food, because there are few things I hate more than throwing up. As I struggle to adjust to a myriad of changes (time zone, schedule, culture), I inevitably suffer one (or more) tearful, late night melt-downs. To top it all off, I worry constantly about how NOT to be the Loud, Ignorant American. As you can imagine, all of this angst tends to make me irritable, cranky, and an altogether bad traveling companion.
My first two international travelling experiences were with small groups from college, when I spent a month each in Spain and Eritrea. These trips were well-planned, with my classmates, and facilitated by a professor who was native of the country. Despite the structure and familiar companions, I always felt “off”. But took another five years before I was sufficiently self-aware to organize and identify what I was really feeling: I am a control freak, and international travel demands that I surrender control, admit that there’s plenty I don’t know, and ask for help.
I have traveled with Kee-Min to his home country of Singapore three times, and by now, I’m sufficiently comfortable there that I am a pretty happy traveler (see, practice does help!). But practice in Singapore isn’t immediately applicable to all international travel. For example, the return routing for our most recent trip to Singapore required an all-day layover in Narita, Japan, during which we explored a small village two train stops away from the airport. For the record, I sat in the airport the morning we landed in Narita whining, “Can’t we just stay HERE, rest in the lounge, use the WiFi, enjoy the free snacks, and then board our plane tonight?? I just want to go home, and going out there will be so much WORK.” Ultimately, the thought of Kee-Min’s disappointment over missing a day in Japan was too much for me, and I agreed to let him drag me (almost literally) along. The result? Once we figured out the ticket machine and which train to board, it was awesome! We walked the cobblestone streets of this quaint little village, were mesmerized watching a gentleman prepare fresh eel for the grill, explored an old temple site, and stuffed ourselves silly. My mouth is watering right now just thinking about the Ramen, freshly roasted chestnuts, and Japanese red bean pancakes we gobbled.
I have reminded myself of this experience many times over the past year, as Kee-Min and I dreamed, schemed, and planned the trip that we are just starting. Would I be doing this, if not for him? Nope. Am I doing it just for him? Also, nope. This is a trip for me, a trip for him, and a trip for us. I recognize that we are incredibly blessed to have the opportunity, freedom, and resources for this trip. I have been given the chance to do something that so few people do, and I intend to seize every moment for the growth, learning, and rest that it offers. Us, ready to seize everything (but not in a kleptomaniacal way):
I will admit, though, that I am still struggling to reconcile two sets of feelings about the trip: Overwhelming gratitude and excitement, with my travel-induced anxiety and obsessing. Kee-Min has been remarkably patient with me, both in word and deed. He has been understanding, supportive, and excited in precisely the right measure (most of the time). Before departure, I kept myself upbeat and distracted by preparations: Packing our apartment, packing for the trip, settling accounts, planning itineraries. To combat the overwhelmed feeling (that usually manifest like, “WHY are we doing this? It is SO. MUCH. WORK."), I reminded myself of the reasons/goals I set for myself for this trip. Since I’m baring my soul in this post anyway, I might as well share them with you all:
1. To be a patient, flexible, and calm traveling companion.
2. To use this trip to grow as a couple, as we spend quantity & quality time together, listen and speak deeply to each other, solve problems, and open ourselves to new cultures, experiences, and people.
3. To take time to reflect on my professional life and career, and where I would like to take science in the next 5 years.
4. To use running as a vehicle to explore the places we visit.
5. Remember to take time to rest and relax, so we return restored (not exhausted).
Here's to 2012, and the pursuit of my (and your!) goals. Cheers!
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